A Shadow Speaks

They say a shadow is silent. Not anymore.

But what might a shadow have to say?

I have a story. A boy, a girl and lights.

The boy I speak of, is the one to whom I’m coupled. Neither bound, nor belong, and certainly not to follow. The sense of entitlement of humans amuses me. No, I have accompanied him all his life; watched him terrified by me when he was a babe, played with him in his curious years, saw him study me rationally with a tool they call science, and smiled at him when he came to admire me aesthetically. Shadows are destined to be spectators, and so I've watched him, in all lights. What shadows are not allowed to have, are feelings, which I’ll never know when and how, took root inside me.

The most beautiful love stories are those, where love is requited in a way you could never imagine.

This story begins in a classroom. A place brimming with light; of the fiery sun in the firmament, of the countless contraptions humans call “smartphone”, of the fixtures made by someone named “Philips”, and of a box like appliance hung upside down like a bat. I watched these lights, their warmth and hues, as he observed the people, the chat, the atmosphere. He was always a silent one to begin with, at home at the corner seat, away from the hubbub. And then she entered. With her came a light, of not a single hue that’s usually the case, but a whole spectrum.

Like humans, shadows too grow up, and with age, comes maturity. There was a cynical period in my life when I discarded metaphorical lights as trash. It ended with her.

Transfixed, he and I watched her, as she took a seat with her friend, chatting ceaselessly, animatedly. I could see in his eyes, a hint of a spark. Only a hint, as that’s how guarded he was with his emotions. Nevertheless, clearly he wanted to meet her, to say “Hello!” My gaze kept swivelling between his nervous, shifty movements and her beautiful face. Meanwhile, the upside down bat which had fascinated me so, had started spewing images and lights, but I couldn't be bothered any less! Then suddenly, everyone was up and exiting. He too got up and started walking towards the door. If I get to talk to him someday, I’d admonish him for not breaking ice that day; but I would thank him too, as just for a fleeting second, I felt a touch as I fell on her. And the light! Oh the light! A million hues that cannot be named. A warmth that cannot die down. A purity which cannot be lost. A strength that cannot be bested.

I remember seeing my first light; my lord who gave me existence. He never forgot her first words; of the girl who gave him the will to love.

It’s been many daylights now since their first sojourn. And it was this day when he realized two things – a) He loves her more than he could even believe was possible b) She doesn't, and might never love him the way he loves her. He sat on his bed, looking at me, wondering. Which path to take from this fork in the road? There was one, with a different life, with a different light, where her light could only just penetrate. And there was the other, this life with her, where she was as the one omniscient, omnipresent light, and he could still love again, helped by her. Hours flew by, all mired in melancholic light, as he talked, sometimes to me, sometimes at me, and I did the best I could. I could not spectate while he made a blunder of a choice, so I showed him how he shivered at the thought of a life without her. And that was all it took. I wouldn't be surprised if you don’t believe me capable of this benevolence.

Humans in their literature have always painted me in a negative light. As my Lord Light’s master, Master Death says,” How can he who does not know his own purpose, glean the purpose of you and me?”

Omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent. Even stars do not command such a light. She did.

To me, a shadow whom I knew had been lost. To him, a girl whom he had cared for deeply. Those were the darkest days as my memory serves, where misery played tricks with our minds. On some days, its gloom would make us howl for a glimmer of light. On others, its glare would burn right through us. Omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent – divine. She was our saviour. And though it angered my Lord Light, I christened her light my “one true saviour”. For him, with just the utterance of her name, the tones, pauses and tremors, she’d know how he’s doing. For me, she’d step in close, give us a hug, and that was all that was needed. It used to crack me up when I’d hear of a human say – “I know him/her better than his/her shadow” or “Even his/her own shadow might desert him/her, but I won’t”. The hubris! Seeing her, that laugh died somewhere down my throat and has remained dead ever since.

Of all the lore and myths humans have woven about me, they got one right. Steal one’s shadow, and you steal their existence. For as long as one exists, and there is even a single ray of light in this universe, I exist too, coupled. And now I realize, for him, so does she.

I've seen them grow up these years and destiny has taken them their separate ways. But with each passing daylight, they've only come closer, now more than ever, for there exists millions of people and shadows and lights out there, some benevolent, some malevolent, and they need the familiarity and comfort of each other. They met recently, albeit only for a few hours. They didn't complain. When you know a lifetime together is still short to have your heart’s fill, you stop complaining. There was an absence, a darkness, a shadow of sorts in their faces before, but all it needed was one another’s light and they were whole again.

A story began in a classroom brimming with light. A boy, a girl and lights. Their lights still shine on. The story? Will go on.