Come on, Little Squishy!

So, it’s the weekend again, and here I am with a new post. However this time, it’s not going to be eloquent poetry, or an absorbing story. It’s going to be an attempt at a very charming, a very personal narrative about this absolutely adorable little girl, who’s both my Nemo and Dory (for those of you who got the Finding Nemo reference from the title). So let’s get started from the top!

Born and brought up in a small town, experiencing cities only as a tourist or as an audience at the theatres, I had an inferiority complex when it came to city folk. So in college when our paths crossed for the first time, I could just tell that she was a city girl. Soon enough my doubts were confirmed as I came to know she’s from Mumbai! No wonder she chatted incessantly in English! And yes, laugh though you may, it’s still kind of a big deal (a snobbish deal actually) if you converse fluently and exclusively in English, back where I come from! So there I was, introvert, unsocial at best, overtly shy in front of girls (still am), witnessing this young lady from the city. “There’s no way I can be friends with her, we’ve nothing in common!” I remember wondering then. Doesn’t take a genius to figure that changed, but that didn’t happen instantly.

If I have to tell you the absolute first conversation I had with her, it was just her asking me to give proxy for her and her friend. Not much of a conversation, but hey, we are taking it from the top! Anyway, the first conversation of note which I remember, and which didn’t help at the time given my inferiority complex is this –

Me: Hey, all set for the practical?

She: Yeah. It’s going to be easy only!

Me: I sure hope so. Listen, do you remember the sine series expansion? I hear there’s quite a good chance that we’re going to be asked to code that!

She: Sure! It’s easy only… (Goes on to tell me the code).

Me: (Complex and Pride kicking in) Hey, I just need the expansion. I know how to code.

She: I’m sorry!

And just at that moment we were called in for the practical. Some first impression that left of her. I wonder what she thought of me then. But that impression soon went away with the first tech fest which happened a couple of weeks after. I was in a “junkyard genius” event with a friend, trying to build a coin pump or something, and the round was taking place at a basketball court, so there were people milling about watching. I remember her and her friend eventually walking to our place, watching and as I looked up, both smiled and said “Hi!” “Oh, the proxy girls!” I smiled to myself. I had just cut myself over a wire or something so both expressed due and genuine concern, wished us luck and went on their way. “Not so bad” I thought. But what happened next, stumped me. Funnily enough, I had already become close friends with her friend. So during this cultural fest that happened next, she and I were volunteering for the same game and throughout the four days, I saw her largely ignoring me. I thought about asking her friend what her problem was, but thought the better of it and kept quiet. In hindsight, I’m glad I did, because those two are thicker than twins, and I would surely have offended her friend!

When you’re in close with someone, eventually their best friends become your friends too. And these two weren’t mere friends but were soul sisters, so yeah, gradually we became friends. It took me off guard you know, how amazingly cute and sweet she is. At that time it was all mired with polite formality but even then I took to liking her and though it started as a joke, I started calling her “akka” (sister in Tamil). Furthermore, I started discovering that I do have a lot in common with her. My family had recently moved to Powai, where she’d been living a long time. Sadly however, she had just moved out to a different locality. It would have been nice having her nearby. On the bright side, I knew someone in the city and that’s always a good thing. So conversations over mutual love for Mumbai, rock music, her friend, and sharing stories from our past, we bonded pretty well. In fact she had become my go to friend for advice on how to handle my feelings for her friend then. And the support she gave me, I’ve hardly met anyone else who’s mature enough to act like that. She helped me understand her, tide over fights, and with countless other things. Even now when sometimes I’m confused by her friend’s behavior, I turn to her and she always knows the right thing to do!

When my birthday came up next, I remember her giving me birthday bumps, hitting me with those tiny mittens, as if a tiny kitten was pawing on my back! But, I must say she’s the best at giving hugs. Almost like how a koala hugs a tree! Those may seem clichéd to you but I bet this won’t. Just after my birthday came the darkest days I’ve known, as I had lost someone dear to me and was absolutely devastated. Not only was she there for me, every single moment when I needed her, but I remember her bunking a class one day to be with me in the canteen and have a proper conversation with me to help me cope. I couldn’t bear to look at her as I was afraid that she might see the tears that used to form unannounced those days, and was staring out the window looking away. Turns out I was afraid for nothing as she had an arm around me the entire time and even managed to make me smile, when I hadn’t for almost a month by then. As we walked out of the canteen after an hour –

Me: You know she used to consider me her most practical and matured friend. And she used to call me teddy bear. I don’t know how that worked, but she was the only one who did that. I miss that.

She: (Smiling, hugs me.) So you’re like a Papa Bear!

Me: (Smiling, hug her back.) I guess I am. Baby bear!

She’s been my baby bear ever since. Go ahead judge me, I won’t blame you! But I love her and that’s how she became my Nemo, my Little One, and the thousand other nicknames I have for her.

We shared many moments the following months ahead. Me getting an internship at Microsoft, she becoming one of the founding members of an NGO, and a string of small ones, some happy some sad. I remember on my next birthday, the note she and her friend had written for me had moved me to tears and how both of them nearly crushed me with their hugs and love. If she’s reading this she might be wondering, “Tell them about the number of times you’ve been a pain in the neck!” Well I don’t blame her. I can get on people’s nerves at times and as calm and loving as she is, there were times she got tired of me. There’s this one time I remember, I had misdirected my anger caused by someone else at her, and unknowingly shouted at her in front of our class. She, along with the entire class were in shock but I was still consumed by rage to have taken notice. It’s only when her friend called me up and asked me, “What the hell did you do?” that I came back to my senses. She didn’t talk or reply the entire day and those were one of the most painful and repentant hours I’ve spent. Thank God she loved me still and came around late that night, otherwise I don’t know what I’d have done without her.

Coming back to pleasant memories, the day she got her placement. I woke up, checked my mobile and saw the results had just come out. Both I and her friend had been praying hard that she gets this one. So when I saw her name in the recruits’ list, I was beyond myself with happiness. I immediately called her and found out that she was already there at the PAT center but none of her close friends were there. Hurriedly putting on the first decent clothes I could find I raced to the office and what happened next, well one of my happiest memories. She was sitting inside this gallery and when she saw me out the door, she gave one of her trademark ear to ear smiles and ran out, swung the door open and jumped and hugged me. And I was so happy, so proud of this Little One that I swooped her up and started swinging her around like a babe! Only when she yelled in my ear to put her down did I stop. Soon her best friend joined the party and it was one of the happiest moments we three have ever had. Just as I was thinking, I can’t call her Little One anymore, she came to me, gave me her offer letter and said, “Keep it no! I’ll definitely lose it!” I laughed inside at how wrong I was. She’ll always be my Little One!

I realize I have been going on for so long that it’s a surprise if anyone of you have made it this far. There are so many more stories, moments and adventures, like the timewe went back home together; or the time she got sick on a Sunday when half the town remains closed and I had to rush out far to get her medicines; or the time when I saw her in our farewell, all dressed up and gorgeous and as I had held her at a distance to look at her, she twirled for me; or when she wrote her first poem ever, filled with LOTR references as a farewell gift for me; or as recently as the last few months when I was shocked at how much she has slimmed down, she gave me the same koala hug and said, “I am your Baymax!”. I miss that ear to ear smile, that koala hug and those cheeks! Oh how I love pulling those cheeks! There are times she fears that I’ll tear them right off and those fears aren’t unfounded! But most of all, I miss that positive life force around me who gave me the sage advice of “just keep swimming”. So as my Dory recently hurt her back during Yoga (health crazy this girl has become now), I just want to say to her “Come on, Little Squishy! You’ll get through this! I’m right there with you!”