Paar Chanaa De

“Our maker beholds in agony, the repercussions of his dastardly deed - to have made us as one soul, divided into two beings, separated by an unfathomable distance. He weeps for us Aa’isha…”

It comes again, the numbness in his being, a grief so immense, he has no choice but to lie down paralysed on the cold hard ground, clutching his letter in a wincing vice, hidden from sight. The stars, lights, quiet and winter offer him no solace, cold winds freezing his tears. A broken heart can be healed, but how do you heal a broken soul, so tormented that it disintegrates reading its own words?

Suddenly he feels a deep rumbling, emanating from the bosom of the earth, and now the sky is awash with burning white light. “This is it” he wonders, “it’s too much even for him now.” He relaxes his body, eager to meet his maker, and the letter flutters away. The next second, it’s all over and he sits up dazed and confused, trying to make sense of what happened. He feels his hand clutching empty air, and it registers - the letter is lost.

Paar chanaa de disse kulli yaar di,

Ghareya ghareya, aa ve ghareya!

It rains as if someone ripped the skies open and the heavens are crashing down. She rushes to shut the window in her room, and just as she’s about to secure the latch, a paper slams across the pane, with hints of words in a familiar hand. She retrieves it immediately, and on drying it, recognises the work of her beloved Asad and stands stupefied.

“Our maker beholds…”

It’s a profoundly beautiful pain that Asad feels, a pain which she knows is mirrored in her just as great - of separation. “The longing of a loved one is enough reason to scale mountains! How craven of me then, to abandon him for a petty downpour?” With a resolve only true lovers will understand, she steps out the door. Even though she feels the full power of her love, devotion and conviction in her, she knows she still needs help in getting to him. She walks away onto deserted streets, hoping beyond hope, and her prayers are answered soon as she spies a lone bike taxi, seeking shelter under a tree. Overjoyed at this providence, she eagerly races towards him.

Raat haneri nadi thathaan maar di,

Ariye ariye, haan ni ariye

Before leaving she’d managed to catch a report on the storm from her radio which stated that there was a clear and present danger of a flash flood in the area where Asad lives. Knowing that a bike taxi could barely survive it, nevertheless, she approaches him because such is her need. “Brother, please take me to the next town, it’s imperative that I go, my beloved awaits!” she pleads. “Are you crazy! I don’t know about you but I don’t have a death wish! And even if I survive, my bike certainly won’t!” he reacts. “How are you so certain that your bike won’t survive? Have you heard some report?”, she asks defiantly. “No I haven’t, but do I need a report to tell me that?” he remarks. “But this is absurd! You have no good reason to be certain yet you are? Brother please, I’ll owe my happiness to you forever and ever if you help me meet my Asad!” she beseeches him. Puzzled by her reasoning, and seeing the urgency in her eyes, he acquiesces grudgingly.

Kachi meri mitti kacha mera naam ni
Haan main na-kaam ni

Asking her to wait for a bit while he makes sure his bike isn’t already showing signs of trouble. Still unable to digest what desire can be so great as to brave this storm, he tries to deter her “Since you called me brother, heed my counsel sister! I do want to help you but my bike is too old to wade through this weather. If only you wait here with me for a while till the storm abates, I’ll take you to your Asad free of charge!” But she is unmoved, and responds “I hear your counsel brother, but if your concern is your bike, then I make you this promise - take me there this instant and to show my gratitude I’ll gift you a new bike.”

Kacchiyaan da hunda kacha anjaam ni
Eh gal ‘aam ni

Appalled at the offer of a gift and saddened by the inappropriate way he worded his concern, he tries again “Sister I do not need a gift from you and I’m not saying no. But please consider that I’m not so adept as to navigate this storm, I took this job only a month back. And I’m sure you’ve heard what happens to novices like me when they get adventurous! The numbers speak for themselves!” And yet, she’s unmoved, although now she’s developed a compassion for him. Reassuringly, she says “Brother, it’s providence that I found you on a deserted road on a stormy night when my Asad needs me the most. You’re a godsend and He is your keeper so as I trust in him, I trust in you too and I know in the heart of my hearts that you’ll not fail me.”

Kacheyaan te rakhiye na umeed paar di

Ariye ariye haan ni ariye

Unable to fight God's will in an argument, he concedes ”It’s endearing sister, the faith you put in me! However it’ll be my failure as a brother if some misfortune befalls you, so when I say the journey is getting perilous beyond my abilities, we’ll abandon it immediately and we’ll wait till the storm abates!” Eager to get moving, she appeases him by saying “The reigns are in your hands, brother dear! Now please let’s go, for as much as I’ve come to like this banter with you, every moment away from Asad is excruciating!”

Vekh chhallaan paindiyan na chadden dil ve

Haan laike khil ve

Thus they depart, and the storms, seemingly affronted at this brazen display of human will, grow more violent and dangerous. As she holds on to him for support, she can feel the shivers running through his body, just as she feels the terror creeping up hers, however, her love is a raging inferno in her heart and she packs some of its heat into her encouraging words “Brother dear, if only you could see my soul you’d know the magnitude of your benevolence in my eyes! Heed my words when I say you’re doing God's work in uniting two lovers! My heart knows that we’ll make this journey and my Asad and I will be forever in your debt!”

Ajj mahiwaal nou main jana mil ve

Haan aiho dil ve

“But why tonight of all nights?” he asks, to keep his mind off his own fears. “This isn’t even the storm season and yet here we are constantly on the verge of being swept away and drowning. And on such a bizarre night of all nights, you chose to go to your Asad? Why? Pardon me, dear sister, if my questions trouble you.” Suddenly he feels warm tears against his nearly frozen back and her arms gripping tighter around his waist. “Because I’m scared, dear brother! This ominous weather with all its raging storm also brought a letter to me from Asad. Oh, the agony in those words! Fate hasn’t been kind to our love but we fought to hold on to our little piece of paradise. And while we have been fighting our loneliness with letters, tokens, souvenirs and memories, tonight his grief called for me to be with him as soon as I could. Thus I steeled my nerves and resolved my heart.”

Yaar noon milegi ajj laash yaar di

Ghadeya ghariya aa ve ghariya

In the name of love, they continue relentless, manoeuvring through dirt roads, landslides, uprooted vegetation, scampering animals, raging thunder in a dark curtain of rain that refused to lift. Since milestones are all but gone, they only have their own sense of distance and time to tell them how far they’ve come and how close Asad is. And just when she feels in her heart that Asad is just a touch away, with a violent jerk the bike gives out and they come down crashing on the ground. Exhausted, cold, hurting, he stays down a couple of minutes as the pounding in his head dulls. Finally, when he gets up, he can make out the figure of Aa’isha trying to get on her feet. He starts trudging towards her, and in the next moment, several things occur simultaneously. Aa’isha looks up to find him moving towards her and smiles in relief. He sees Aa’isha’s smiling face suddenly lit up by white light. The air is pierced with a loud honk and a screeching noise. Aa’isha is mowed down by a jeep. He roars profanities at the now fast escaping jeep and lurches quickly towards Aa’isha to find her face buried in mud, unmoving. Sobbing in grief he shakes her body, but to no avail. “Dear Sister, I failed you in life, I will not fail you in death. You will be with your Asad tonight.” Thus he lifts her onto his shoulders and walks the remaining distance to Asad’s town. Once there, on asking the locals he is promptly directed to his house. Eons pass before he finally musters the courage to knock his door. Asad opens the door, exclaiming “Who’s fool enough to” but stops aghast mid-sentence, as he sees Aa’isha unmoving in a stranger’s arms. He takes Aa’isha in his arms and the stranger faints to the ground. The surreal storm and this ghastly macabre turn of events make him think if he’s having a nightmare. But soon his dread is intensified as the very real, very cold, unmistakably dead body of Aa’isha in his arms hauntingly pulls him back to reality and senses.

Years have passed, and yet to this day, family and neighbours often wake up to his howls in the dead of night.

Phad pallara pakke murshad da

Jehda tainu paar lagaave

His health fails to pick up years after the burial and as a last resort, his family gets a doctor not for his sickly body, but for his fragmented mind. Further, timely so, since he had also started talking about taking his own life. After countless sessions of counselling on loss and life, he finally takes to heart his doctor’s advice of seeking closure by writing a letter to Aa’isha, saying everything which he felt was left unsaid. On a bright warm winter day, he sits down to it and fighting back tears, starts 

“Our maker beholds…”

It takes him some weeks to finish the letter and once done, to solidify his sense of closure and to honour her memory, he decides to travel to the North Pole, which was her childhood dream. Out there, as he sees the northern lights, he prays silently that Aa’isha too, wherever she is, is able to see this with him. And then it happens, the earth rumbles, the sky burns, and the letter is lost.

When he gets up on his feet, trying to make sense of it all, he feels an oddly warm breeze caressing the left side of his face, ruffling his hair, and is shocked by the familiarity of the touch. He’s completely beside himself as he feels a rush of joy he only felt when Aa’isha was in his arms. He looks up at the sky and whispers 

“Tch, Tch! Late again Aa’isha!”